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Thinking of you more then my dreams,
dreaming of you so much I can't think.
A heart bursts at it seams,
when it is brought to the brink.
the brink of success,
the brink of a break.
it makes me worry, it makes you guess,
and makes me feel like a rock has formed up in my chest.
but it's the risk I must take,
and the vow I must make,
to feel the warmth of the light that shines in your eyes,
It comes slowly at first, but builds into brilliance, showing me that all the lows were worth this one high.
So I post this online, and hope you will see.
I hide it in code for in my fear I hope to still hide it from thee.
and so here I sit still thinking of you and I can't help but wonder if sometimes... you think of me too.
I included the translation, for all those that can't understand bianary code
Thursday, September 25, 2008
first kiss
Like sand tossed on an evening breeze,
a boat is rocked by the gentle seas.
the Golden sunlight ignites the air while quiet smiles steal all thats left.
Then laughter breaks as the glasses clink taking away their breath,
All night they've thought of it yet neither has said a word
and as a hush falls over, they look between their eyes and each knows that they've been heard.
their voices combine singing music in the sky,
and like the gulls up above they take wing and fly....
a boat is rocked by the gentle seas.
the Golden sunlight ignites the air while quiet smiles steal all thats left.
Then laughter breaks as the glasses clink taking away their breath,
All night they've thought of it yet neither has said a word
and as a hush falls over, they look between their eyes and each knows that they've been heard.
their voices combine singing music in the sky,
and like the gulls up above they take wing and fly....
Who are you?
Who are you o’ denizen of the deep,
who lies beneath my eternal dreams,
and haunts me in my sleep?
And who am I to question in my mind,
this the very fabric of your chaotic design.
your cords bind round me tight,
and as they strangle I feel your delight.
You sell to me only fools gold,
and in the end it’s my soul that’s sold.
you cause me to ignore all those virtues I might seek,
and make promises to others you know I won't keep.
A rushing stream of will,
A race up this hill,
I feel your breath
as you close for the kill.
but in your dogmatic chase,
you forget that I will win this race.
and in your seemingly endless haste,
you overlooked the reflection in my face
I look in the glass,
and I meet you at last.
my foe, my fiend,
my seducer… myself
a good fight it’s been,
but this battle I will eventually win.
The war has been fought,
but not a man has been lost,
for you see it was only in my heart.
who lies beneath my eternal dreams,
and haunts me in my sleep?
And who am I to question in my mind,
this the very fabric of your chaotic design.
your cords bind round me tight,
and as they strangle I feel your delight.
You sell to me only fools gold,
and in the end it’s my soul that’s sold.
you cause me to ignore all those virtues I might seek,
and make promises to others you know I won't keep.
A rushing stream of will,
A race up this hill,
I feel your breath
as you close for the kill.
but in your dogmatic chase,
you forget that I will win this race.
and in your seemingly endless haste,
you overlooked the reflection in my face
I look in the glass,
and I meet you at last.
my foe, my fiend,
my seducer… myself
a good fight it’s been,
but this battle I will eventually win.
The war has been fought,
but not a man has been lost,
for you see it was only in my heart.
Can you live in fear of that which you love?
trapped, dark and alone,
no light shelters me.
I can't escape from this trap,
There's no way up that I can see.
I push against the wall,
It's heavy wieght I can barely move.
As I push I begin to fall,
helpless, I brave the ground.
awakened by no sound,
I lay still, while peaceful times recall.
Until that terror moments comes,
I awaken, still against this wall.
I live in fear,
each and every day.
It may happen again,
the floor may give way.
and again I'd awake,
to see the same.
That which I love,
It is my bane.
Can you live in fear of that which you love?
Can you live without a warm embrace?
and most of all can you live without love?
no light shelters me.
I can't escape from this trap,
There's no way up that I can see.
I push against the wall,
It's heavy wieght I can barely move.
As I push I begin to fall,
helpless, I brave the ground.
awakened by no sound,
I lay still, while peaceful times recall.
Until that terror moments comes,
I awaken, still against this wall.
I live in fear,
each and every day.
It may happen again,
the floor may give way.
and again I'd awake,
to see the same.
That which I love,
It is my bane.
Can you live in fear of that which you love?
Can you live without a warm embrace?
and most of all can you live without love?
Rain
Love like many colors is seen only in rain swept embraces.
Driven away by sunny days and cloudless nights,
It remains still in front of my face.
If I reach out to grab,
I see it fade away.
So I turn my back,
And it takes all I have.
I pray for rain,
I would rather be cold and wet than warm and alone.
Instead comes summer days that I wish I could love,
Every day I see the sun drives me a bit more insane.
I keep sending messages to the sky in places I know it can see,
Asking and pleading for rain.
All go unanswered,
Is it too much to ask for reason?
Oh, how we love to grumble when it comes,
It ruins our plans, and changes our course.
But without it the world would shrivel and die,
And only in its absence marked with wildfires and dead plants,
do we deplore its passing.
Ruined cell phones and changed directions are small prices to pay for happiness,
I'd soak my phone before ever leaving the house if it would bring it back.
So I do my rain dance tonight,
and hope that I will wake to the sound of cold wind and drops of water on my window.
Driven away by sunny days and cloudless nights,
It remains still in front of my face.
If I reach out to grab,
I see it fade away.
So I turn my back,
And it takes all I have.
I pray for rain,
I would rather be cold and wet than warm and alone.
Instead comes summer days that I wish I could love,
Every day I see the sun drives me a bit more insane.
I keep sending messages to the sky in places I know it can see,
Asking and pleading for rain.
All go unanswered,
Is it too much to ask for reason?
Oh, how we love to grumble when it comes,
It ruins our plans, and changes our course.
But without it the world would shrivel and die,
And only in its absence marked with wildfires and dead plants,
do we deplore its passing.
Ruined cell phones and changed directions are small prices to pay for happiness,
I'd soak my phone before ever leaving the house if it would bring it back.
So I do my rain dance tonight,
and hope that I will wake to the sound of cold wind and drops of water on my window.
we pass each other like strangers in the hall
I couldn’t possibly hope to capture what I’ve lost.
once with hopes bright and true I embarked,
un-ashamed of what little talent I possessed,
and ignoring even the snidest remark.
bravado was the way of the day,
and happily ever after just in sight.
I thought for a moment,
such sweet tunes we made,
but this music only I could hear.
The day I realized this I put you down,
I let my fingers forget your touch,
and whenever I see you it brings me pain,
because of the dreams that together we made.
They can never be true me with you,
although I want you very much.
We pass each other like strangers in the hall,
and each time hear your strum,
I know that it’s call is not for me.
You spot sits gathering dust,
and nothing else can quite fill it’s place
In time I’ll find something else,
but the dreams that I had are now quite erased.
They were foolish to think and foolish to follow,
but if given the choice I’d do the same thing tomorrow.
once with hopes bright and true I embarked,
un-ashamed of what little talent I possessed,
and ignoring even the snidest remark.
bravado was the way of the day,
and happily ever after just in sight.
I thought for a moment,
such sweet tunes we made,
but this music only I could hear.
The day I realized this I put you down,
I let my fingers forget your touch,
and whenever I see you it brings me pain,
because of the dreams that together we made.
They can never be true me with you,
although I want you very much.
We pass each other like strangers in the hall,
and each time hear your strum,
I know that it’s call is not for me.
You spot sits gathering dust,
and nothing else can quite fill it’s place
In time I’ll find something else,
but the dreams that I had are now quite erased.
They were foolish to think and foolish to follow,
but if given the choice I’d do the same thing tomorrow.
wildflowers and lawn mowers
Today I saw them mowing down a field of wildflowers.
It seemed such a tragedy to me,
something that others would seek,
carelessly driven over for the sake of a flat lawn.
I guess that's the price that must be paid to have a neat and orderly yard.
but that has never been my way I prefer chaotic and beautiful.
Wildflowers to me, weeds to others I suppose.
As I see them disappear beneath the gardeners blades my mind races with a hundred things I wish I could tell them of.
Movies filmed entirely in magic hours that look like heaven has descended upon us forever.
long walks on cool nights, where the air smells like spring, and the chill breeze makes me wish I had brought my coat.
Forgotten gardens, hidden between buildings, where I steal naps.
secret passages I long to explore, but haven't the courage.
Stunning views from cliffs at sunset, while I eat my veggie burger and milkshake.
Poems published in the Thursday chronicle, read by few, understood by none.
Sweaters bought on Christmas Day relegated to a pile near my bed.
Alone each time i think of the wildflowers for surely they would appreciate them.
tragically, yet predictably I spend to much time thinking and by the time I'm done the mowers have finished their work.
It was never my lawn to begin with, so there never really was much I could do.
Still I'll miss it the same, see I used to tell it my secrets, and now all I can really say is goodbye.
Let it never be said that there was nothing to be said between us, just that we said nothing.
In a way I think that's the biggest tragedy of all.
Maybe next spring I'll stumble across this hill and once again see my friend.
With a spring rainstorm on it's way, thunder clapping in the distance echoing my desire,
I'll lay in the grass and let the drops of rain consume us.
Then I'll tell my friend everything they've missed, and pray that the gardener won't come this day.
It seemed such a tragedy to me,
something that others would seek,
carelessly driven over for the sake of a flat lawn.
I guess that's the price that must be paid to have a neat and orderly yard.
but that has never been my way I prefer chaotic and beautiful.
Wildflowers to me, weeds to others I suppose.
As I see them disappear beneath the gardeners blades my mind races with a hundred things I wish I could tell them of.
Movies filmed entirely in magic hours that look like heaven has descended upon us forever.
long walks on cool nights, where the air smells like spring, and the chill breeze makes me wish I had brought my coat.
Forgotten gardens, hidden between buildings, where I steal naps.
secret passages I long to explore, but haven't the courage.
Stunning views from cliffs at sunset, while I eat my veggie burger and milkshake.
Poems published in the Thursday chronicle, read by few, understood by none.
Sweaters bought on Christmas Day relegated to a pile near my bed.
Alone each time i think of the wildflowers for surely they would appreciate them.
tragically, yet predictably I spend to much time thinking and by the time I'm done the mowers have finished their work.
It was never my lawn to begin with, so there never really was much I could do.
Still I'll miss it the same, see I used to tell it my secrets, and now all I can really say is goodbye.
Let it never be said that there was nothing to be said between us, just that we said nothing.
In a way I think that's the biggest tragedy of all.
Maybe next spring I'll stumble across this hill and once again see my friend.
With a spring rainstorm on it's way, thunder clapping in the distance echoing my desire,
I'll lay in the grass and let the drops of rain consume us.
Then I'll tell my friend everything they've missed, and pray that the gardener won't come this day.
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